4th Edition Feels Like an MMO

Being a full-time DM, I’ve been very curious what changes the 4th edition of Dungeons and Dragons brought to the proverbial role-playing table. Well, I finally got my hands on a copy of the rulebooks last night, and so far, my biggest impression of the new edition is that it feels like an MMO.

Now, I’m not an avid MMO player – I’ve only played one, and only semi-frequently. I also haven’t read the PHB word for word yet, but I feel like there’s a connection between the two.

One change I would attribute to my MMO-impression is the new setting that the PHB assumes. When I first heard that fourth edition would set towns like “points of light in the darkness,” I didn’t quite grasp the concept in its entirety. Specifically, the new rules assume a setting that is between the fall of one great era/civilization and the rise of the next. To me, that sounds like a video game: towns are isolated hubs of interaction and resting – if you want to get to the next one, you have to travel through the wilderness and its dangers to get there. Quite reminiscent of an MMO (admittedly, I also thought of Dragon Warrior).

This PHB also offers a smaller variety of choices, but more freedom to choose, if that makes any sense. For example, it seems that prestige classes have kicked the bucket; instead, players multi-class or choose from different abilities to customize their characters. Now, that sounds a lot like a video game to me. Specifically, I would name Diablo II, WoW, and just about every other MMO out there. Maybe it’s just me.

Probably the final change that made me think of a video game was the way abilities work now. By breaking down abilities into attack and utility powers, and further into at-will, encounter, and daily usage categories, characters will probably be able to go longer without resting than they were able to in 3rd edition. Kind of like characters can do in an MMO.

If the designers did make 4th edition more like an MMO, it would make sense to me. One of the biggest sellers in the geek industry is WoW and other MMOs, meaning that if people start saying “Hey, this new edition of D&D is like an MMO”…you get the picture.

So what about the people who don’t like/play MMO’s?

Place Essay: A Walk Through the Grass

Just a little something I was inspired to write (admittedly, when I should have been doing my homework >.>)

Feedback is appreciated~

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A Walk Through the Grass

The wall of pine trees, the grassy lawn, the fading blue sky overhead, and the white wind: all appeared and welcomed me at the same time. They greeted me, embraced me, and flowed into my senses slowly: more slowly than the dark, wandering blue clouds that drifted overhead.

I felt the wind. It flared around my five-foot six-and-a-half frame; not violently, not gently, but as if I were a matter-of-fact feature of the field. It pulled at my jacket, blew through me, into me, around me – me and my naked ankles, shins, and soul; a soul that delighted in the choice of shorts for an early summer day and the glorious smell of air. Fresh, field air.

Seconds have passed since I entered this green zone, bordered by white soccer goals, lined by softball fences, surrounded by metal-chain links, and flew away. I look down at my shadow, down at the patches of green, at the white dandy-lions, their manes ruffling in the wind (and don’t they look like apple trees?) and blow on by. My presence sends them running about, bowing down before me, the King, multiplying and marking the realm the still stretches before me.

The wind continues to swirl, tug, rake through my hair and tickle my nose. I rub at it fiercely.

I still see civilization: the batting cages, the stadium, the yellow goalposts, and the grey, metal, chain-link fence that always parallels my course; so why do I feel free? Is it the trees the reach their prickly boughs towards me, straining with every wave of wind to shake my hand? Is it the pale blue ceiling, tinged with that small, carelessly thrown blob of pink, held up with its pillars of white fluff? Or is it simply that feeling of looking down, seeing that I am taller than the young, yellow dandelions?

I want to stop. I’ve walked and walked, enjoyed the beauteous sight of this site, and I don’t want it to end. I’m almost there: the blue barrel, container of waste – marks the path home. I want to flop down, lie on this bed of living foliage, and draw in with every pore of my body the continuously growing, constantly changing greenhouse of life.

I know I should. I try to fight them, both of them: the urge to go on and the urge to stay. One side has to win. I turn and look behind me: no eyes but those of the cars in the parking lot. I look to my right: no bodies but those of the football tackling dummies.

“…”

I flop down, throw off my worn blue backpack and sink into the sea of green, float on its waves, and stare up at the sky that blankets my mind. The dandelion clocks count off the passing seconds, wishing me to stay as they float off into the air, propellers spinning slowly into space.

I’m stretched out like a snow angel in spring. I’m released, taking off, flying with my wings of words yet unformed. I think of everything and nothing, infinity over fifteen, sixteen, seventeen seconds. My hair bends in tandem with the hands of the grass. My hands feel their waving. We shake, diplomats from two different worlds, and I close my eyes.

I imagine the Wind swishing by in her long silvery gown, gracefully alighting beside me. Her gown brushes my body; her footsteps whisper of change.

“What a cruel mistress. I’ve only tasted twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four seconds of tranquility – surely you can spare another few.”

But, alas, no: she kisses my small nose with affection and hints at our future meetings.

I twitch.

Irritation’s small pinpricks course through me, looking for release. The unwelcome visitor climbs up my nose. I rub at it with my finger, trying to wipe it away, trying to make it leave me alone. It’s no use.

I sneeze.

And it’s all gone – the ‘lions have settled down to sleep, the wishies have danced to the skies, and I’m lying on a bed of blades sharper than any sword. I sigh and brush myself off.

As I walk towards the gravel introduction to cement, my bag seems lighter, if only slightly, and my step more sure, if only with a bit more vigor. Rocks crunch under my feet, as I walk down the path to civilization. I swing open the gate to its apex of one-and-a-half feet, squeeze through the narrow portal, and return to the dream.

Even Ground

Do you know why I quit Myspace? It’s quite simple, actually: I got tired of putting people on my top friends when I wasn’t on theirs and having to worry if I was doing the same to other people. I don’t like putting effort into a one-sided relationship; I’m sure you know what I mean.

I’m sure that we’d all like to think people think of us just as much as we think of them and care about us just as much as we care about them. It’s tiring and depressing to consider anything else. Putting effort into a one-sided relationship is draining because you’re chasing after that person, trying to make them care, trying to make them like you — and we all want to be liked. When someone doesn’t like you, but you like them, it can be a real blow to your self-esteem, depending on your personality.

I have a couple friends who just shrug off things like that, acting like they don’t care. At least one of them is actually lying to himself, though; I can see it on his face every time something happens. If he finds out someone doesn’t like him, he just lies to himself until it becomes truth and he doesn’t care. Me, I’m the opposite. I tend to take it to heart, and it hurts, and then I take whatever action I decide on after that. It takes time, but these and other similar approaches usually work.

What sucks is when you can’t stop caring.

It makes me sad to be, or watch, the person who chases after someone who doesn’t like them. There’s a kid in one of my classes, for example, who is a complete social outcast — his clothes, mannerisms, attitude — they all combine to make him someone that nobody likes. Yet, he keeps trying to talk to and befriend people, even though all of them make it obvious that they want nothing to do with him. What keeps him going?

He has no other choice. I heard something interesting in one of my classes. “An individual cannot exist outside of society. As a social being, his identity is related to his social standing.” He needs to have that human connection, just like the rest of us, and is willing to drag himself through the mud every day trying to get it. Some of us just choose people out of our reach.

There are those people who we want so badly to connect to. They’re really charismatic — either in looks, personality, or both — and we’re attracted to them, like moths to a flame. But like that flame, some of them burn us, sending us spiraling down towards the earth with just a touch, a word, an action that says, “hey, I don’t like you.” It’s a rough landing, isn’t it?

I hate being that person who cares more, opening up for someone only to find that I’m an “acquaintance” or less than that. I guess that’s why I occasionally find myself hating the online networking sites. The top friends features perpetrate situations like this all the time, and even when you’re not friended by someone else it can make you feel the same way.

I don’t mean to condemn online sites in saying this. Networking sites have a lot of good points too, letting us keep in touch with people we wouldn’t otherwise. They can be a lot of fun. But in watching the world around me, I have been made to wonder how many people have been hurt out of lines being drawn and conclusions made based on who your “friends” are.

I should be a Samurai.

I’ve frequently thought I was born in the wrong time period. I dreamed of the medieval times as soon as I was introduced to them, and played at being the chivalrous knight in my make-believe games. As I got older, I found that the romanticized idea of chivalry, and being able to redeem your honor through self-accomplished feats, greatly appealed to me. Then I was introduced to the feudal period of Japan.

The warrior knights of Japan adhered to tenets of the Bushido code: rectitude, courage, benevolence, respect, honor/glory, and loyalty. If they performed a deed that violated this code, they could redeem themselves through seppuku, erasing their misdeeds and clearing their reputation. How great is that?

I exaggerate with my last remark there, but let me elaborate. Have you ever done something wrong, and felt long-lasting guilt over it? I know I’ve felt bad after I’ve done things like blowing up over small things or lashing out at other people when they don’t deserve it, and at times like that, I’ve sat around afterwards feeling bad until I apologized.

We’re taught from a young age that when we do something wrong, we apologize to the person we’ve hurt. If they accept the apology, that forgiveness alleviates the guilt we have. If we’re really good, we make restitution afterwards by changing our attitudes or actions. But what happens when someone doesn’t accept that apology?

The guilt stays with you and it sucks. I’ve dragged stuff around for years because I’ve felt so bad about it. I’ve tried to forgive myself, but It’s hard for me to do if I’m not forgiven by the person I’ve wronged; I’ve tried to move on without that forgiveness, but keep beating myself up. I’m a perfectionist, and I hate being at fault. Not to mention that I just feel better knowing that I’m trying to better myself, and doing that part is hard to do when you feel guilty.

This is why I’m jealous of the samurai. Through a self-sacrificing act, a samurai could atone for his misdeeds, and it would be recognized universally. No dragging guilt around, no shame – a samurai could hold his head high, if only in death. I wish I was a samurai for more than that, though. I really relate to the tenets of the Bushido code:

Rectitude: Moral uprightness; righteousness.

Courage:The state or quality of mind or spirit that enables one to face danger, fear, or vicissitudes with self-possession, confidence, and resolution; bravery.

Benevolence: An inclination to perform kind, charitable acts.

Respect: To feel or show deferential regard for; esteem.

Honor/Glory: Good name; reputation.

Loyalty: Faithful to a person, ideal, custom, cause, or duty.

Living is hard work. It’s so much easier to just give up and die, which makes seppuku an interesting paradox. The people who chose to live must have decided to deal with their shame and guilt, but what kind of lives did they lead? Were these people without a sense of honor or were they plagued by their mistakes for the rest of their lives? Were there lives worth living?

One thing I do know is that I that I wish I was a samurai, if for no other reason than for the swords. ;)

Wander Later, Study Now

Since I was young, I’ve always imagined myself traveling around later in life, kind of like the romanticized vagrant. My parents would laugh if I told them this seeing as how I hated family vacations and have skipped out on the last few. But I’ve always thought that writing about something is easier to do if you’ve experienced it, and I’ve always wanted to have that basis.

I’ve adopted the mentality that I should study writing and other travel related skills now, then go wander around later. But I wonder if it’s just an excuse. So many of my other friends are taking advantage of study abroad opportunities, and I see the wisdom in doing that, but can’t bring myself to follow through. I went to Japan as my senior high school trip, which I thought would be really awesome. My experience involved me fighting with my girlfriend at the time, losing my wallet, and experiencing a general feeling of culture shock.

If I studied abroad in Japan now, I could actually change my Japanese minor to a major, and I wouldn’t have to worry about the complications that would come from going there independently as I’d have a place to live. But the past, in the case, is like a monster haunting my dreams. I want to think that if I had someone by my side as I faced this fear, I could do fine, but would it mean as much if I didn’t do it on my own?

Time is running out and I need to make a decision. I only have another year. ^^;

Nobody Likes Charlie Brown

Recent observation: nobody likes wishy-washy people. It seems to me that it’s the people who are strong in their convictions or passionate about their interests that are well respected and liked, even if those ideals or hobbies are against popular opinion. Note that I’m not talking about extremists, but people who are reasonable and fully conscious of their actions.

I think the first time that I heard something to this effect was when one of my co-workers was talking about the Penny Arcade Expo and another told her that while she personally didn’t like video games, she thought it was cool that people could make it into such a big hobby. I’ve heard similar sentiments on subjects ranging from drugs to politics, and yet, I find it hard to act on.

In other words, while I wish everyone thought that way, and I’d like to behave as if everyone did, I know that it’s not the case. Behaving or speaking in a way that could bring negative attention isn’t socially smart, and while the only thing to fear in doing so may be fear itself, it’s still a pretty big dragon to slay. Especially when you see the people who do and get shot down for it. Seeing the socially inept excluded, and being there in the past, has made me more reserved about what I really think at first; it’s only after I’ve heard everything and feel like I’ve got everyone figured out, that I actually speak my mind.

Part of it is that I don’t like conflict. So much of it is meaningless to me – the way I see it, most issues don’t even matter in the long run. Even if there is a debate or argument between people, it usually only brings about flaring tempers, not a change of heart. Personally, if I can stay objective about something or take pride in it, then I don’t have a problem with speaking my mind or acting on my heart, but things of this nature are too far and few between.

The other part about it is just being honest. One of the most often asked, and yet rarely answered, questions is the infamous, “who do you like?” I don’t think I’ve met anyone who will come right out and say “oh so-and-so.” Why? Because people are cautious about who they let know them – the more someone knows you, the easier it is for them to hurt you. It just takes a certain kind of bravery (or insanity) to be honest.

That said, I really do envy the people who can speak their minds and hearts in a meaningful, reasonable way. Those are the people who are living their lives, making every day count. Maybe one day, more people will be respectful and open-minded. Maybe one day people won’t just use empty words like “tolerance,” then mock religion the next.

Charlie Brown does his best, but honestly, I like Linus more. I think he’s got it down, and if it takes me a security blanket to do that, I might have to go digging through the closet. http://www.snoopy.com/comics/peanuts/meet_the_gang/images/strips/f4d2.gif

Multicultural Shopping Malls, huh?

I was at The Factory Stores (or whatever it’s called now) a couple days ago and was walking around when the mall greeting came over the loudspeakers. In Japanese. I was amused by that for a good while.

I mean, since the place attracts a lot of tourists, I understand that having the greeting in different languages is good business, but to go back to the idea of a more multi-linguistic America, how many languages are they going to start putting things in? North Bend is a predominantly white town. I frequently joke that it’s easy to find me because I’m one of the only Asian-Americans in the areas I’ve come from.

If America doesn’t choose official languages and the number of languages on things keeps increasing, I could see things getting complicated. Different representative groups lobbying for their language on a product, lawsuits resulting from this, etc. As it is, it seems like more products are including entirely seperate instruction booklets for products because they want to reach a wider audience. That’s a lot of paper.

I’m probably just noticing this because I don’t understand these languages and it bothers me. When I went to Japan, I had a really bad case of culture shock because my brain overloaded from all the stuff I couldn’t read or understand. If I knew that Spanish and French were going to be so prevalent in America, maybe I would’ve studied one of those instead of Japanese. I hope the government decides on official languages, because if kids of future generations are going to do well, it seems fairly obvious that they’re going to have to learn languages other than English, and they’ll have to start young.

A Season of Lost Loves and Friendships

Have you ever said goodbye to a good friend? It’s hard to let go of shared memories, moving on and changing, accepting that you’re losing something close to you.

I think that it’s even harder than accepting death, honestly. When someone is dead, there’s nothing you can do about it, so you more or less have to accept it. When you lose a friend (or break up with you significant other) it’s different because YOU may still theoretically be able to do something about it, but THEY might not let you.

The best illustration that I can think of is when someone breaks up with you. You might want to make the relationship work, but regardless of how badly you want it to, your partner might not, and that makes all the difference.

One of my reasons for writing about this is because one of my friends is transferring colleges. She doesn’t like her major program here, which is a completely understandable reason. Of course, I don’t want her to leave.

We’ve been friends since I started college, and even though she’s a Japanese international student (or maybe because of it), I feel a strong emotional bond with her that is difficult to convey in words or compare to those that I have with my other friends.

In any case, it’s hard to accept.

All around me people are ending relationships or friendships, and I’ve even heard one of my friends call it a “season for breaking up.” One of the things I’ve noticed, though, is that very few of these people are really being honest about their feelings.

Everyone is being tough, holding it all inside, when in reality everyone’s hurting. We’re all drowning ourselves in things instead of facing them together. It’s annoying.

I wish everyone was more honest. The only way I’ve been surviving my “breakup season” is through talking with other people and writing; without the release I’d get really emo, and I’ve been there already. The hard part is finding people to talk to.

How does everyone else get by? That’s what I want to know. Accepting loss is a hard thing and accepting that you’re powerless to change something is also hard. If I could talk with my friends, confident that they feel the same way I do, I’d feel so much better. I’ve been called overly dramatic and emotional, but I’ve always just felt like I’m being honest.

Is holding feelings in what is expected now? Is it just guys? Is it America? Is it everyone?

Beauties x Geeks: Reality or not?

Apparently, there’s a show called “Beauty and the Geek” where beautiful girls get paired with nerdy guys. My question is, how realistic is this kind of situation? Does it happen and how does it turn out?

The best example I can think of for this kind of situation was in the J-Drama “Densha Otoko,” where an otaku guy saves a beautiful woman from a drunk guy, and subsequently falls for her. I won’t ruin the ending, but the show tries to pair up a really classy lady with a guy who has no social skills. The funny, main twist of the show is that he has to ask people in a chat room for advice on how to win her over (btw, the show is based on a real story).

Now how often does this kind of stuff happen? I know that geeky guys sometimes aim for the popular girls, but from what I’ve seen, they usually get shot down. If they do succeed, it’s because they change their image to fit the cultural norms. Is it just me to see this as a matter of course?

If we look at why relationships exist, I’m sure there are multiple reasons, but companionship/friendship based on common interest seems like an obvious and major factor behind them. I was reading about the “five factors of attraction” the other day, and one of them is similarity – “we are attracted to people whose attitudes and interests are similar to our own, and who like and dislike the things we like and dislike.”

Now what does the stereotypical nerdy populace share in common with those of other social groups? Not much.

Both of the girls I’ve dated have shared a small interest in some of my hobbies – watching anime, playing video games, and writing – things “typical” of nerds. We’ve had other major interests that we haven’t shared, but if we didn’t even have this common ground to begin with and fall back on, what kind of relationship would that be?

Using myself as an example, I just don’t see myself going out with, say, a jock. I like trying new sports (I picked up tennis last Spring), but it’s not something I can see myself getting into where I’d want to sit around watching sports games or following team stats (which I don’t).

That said, the picture I’ve presented so far is polarized. I know, and find more frequently, that the stereotypes I have of social groups aren’t strictly accurate, and that there are some people who are willing to look and go beyond them. But by and large, I think a lot of people are held back by their stereotypes as well. For example, people make disclaimers about being “nerds” all the time, but you rarely hear people making disclaimers about being “preppy” – the former just has a more negative stereotype.

So why do people try to hook up over such a wide social gap? Maybe people see the “complementary,” or opposite side of themselves in the other social group, and that’s why they try to break that barrier. Or maybe it’s just physical attraction. I won’t lie – a lot of girls I see around here are good looking, and I’d be pretty happy if I was going out with them – but these are the same girls who, from what I’ve seen, I share nothing immediately in common with.

Unless both parties were willing to put a lot of effort into a relationship like that, I really don’t see it happening.

I can be an editor…?

I’m in a state of shock right now. So much shock that I’m abusing my work privileges and writing this instead of the article I’m supposed to.

I was just told that I have the skills to be an editor. By Karen Spears Zacharias: a successful writer and journalist.

That may not seem like a huge thing,  but the way it was worded, that I have the “inborn organizational skill” that it would take, has left me speechless. I’m having trouble swallowing this.

She told me that I have the mind to do it, that I should consider journalism, that I could have the skills to be an editor someday.  When she started saying all this, my jaw just started dropping. I’d expected to be chewed out (she had written on one of my papers that I had to see her) and instead I got complimented.

I think another thing that blows me away is that Ms. Zacharias talked to the head of the communications department here, who also agreed that I should be told. This doesn’t seem real.

I’m having a hard time with this for multiple reasons:

1. I don’t have the highest self-esteem.

2. The confidence I do have gets shot down pretty frequently.

The reason for the latter being that since I work at the Publicity Center, my drafts are constantly being sent back to me, and organizational issues are one of the problems. If I can’t write press releases without having organization problems, how can I believe that I can edit?

Don’t get me wrong – I’d love to do it. I love correcting grammar and reading other people’s works, offering criticism towards the improvement of a piece. I know that I’d probably find time to write (which is what I want to do) on the side, and that reading  other people’s works would probably improve my writing.

But I’m having real trouble accepting this! I’m so afraid to ask someone else, like one of my bosses, to confirm this, because I’m afraid they’ll just shoot me down – and I really don’t want to fall. I’m in denial, but up here in cloud 9 is a nice place.

Ms. Zacharias also said I could talk to her if I wanted more advice on following through on this. I might have to take her up on that. If I’m going to accept this vision of me, I’m going to need more convincing.