I’ve been thinking about a topic I want to write on for about a month now: 10 reasons why it sucks to be single. I haven’t been thinking about it constantly, but it’s always lurked at the back of my mind, rearing its head in my more solitary moments.
I never thought I’d get someone else’s opinion on it before I wrote to it.
My Com class had impromptu speeches today, and for lack of a better topic, I threw it into the pile. I was sadly disappointed, though; the guy didn’t even really agree with it, and ended up giving fewer reasons on why being single sucks than on why it’s good. It motivated me just enough to write on it.
Here are some blurbs from his speech (along with my comments):
Reasons it’s good to be single:
- You don’t have to worry about shaving (if you want to be a lumberjack).
- You don’t have to spend money on your girlfriend (yeah, you spend it on booze).
Now here are some blurbs which actually adhered to the prompt:
Reasons it sucks to be single:
- You don’t get any action.
- You get kind of lonely, sometimes.
- (and my favorite) Your status on Facebook is “single.”
My additions – being single sucks because:
- You don’t have anyone to complain to about your day that actually cares.
- Everything reminds you of her. EVERYTHING.
- People tell you “there’s someone better,” and you have to wonder what they thought about her beforehand.
- If you had mutual friends with her, those relationships get complicated.
- If you see each other on a fairly frequent basis, it gets even more complicated.
- You get really lonely, not “kind of lonely, sometimes.”
- You pull out your emo music that you would hate at any other time.
- You have to sort out whose stuff is whose.
- Every holiday with romantic connotations is ruined.
- The world doesn’t stop.
- You may throw yourself in something self-absorbing to the point where it becomes unhealthy.
- You may find your inner stalker.
- You may find your inner alcoholic.
- You may find your inner poet. *shudder*
I could go on, but I don’t think the list ever really ends. There are the good things about being single, but I really do think the bad ones outweigh the good. That said, I admit to being a hopeless romantic and having the nickname emo gaki.
A nickname I think I just re-earned. ^^;
I definitely agree with you… being single is NO fun. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen the movie “the wedding date”, if not, there’s this part where this guy says every woman has the love life she desires. And that quote always frightens me… I’m alone- this is obviously NOT what I want… but am I not capable of having a relationship due to some inner thoughts and barriers I am not aware of? Hmmm….
After 6 failed relations, i learned the value of being single.. hehehe :) true, there isn’t much to like about being single but there is something to look forward to.. when you’re single, you get to do a lot of things you haven’t done before.. you become someone you thought you’re not.. and it’s not a negative thing.. even better because you know yourself more.. when alone, you realize what you want.. i guess, it’s a matter of perspective.. of how you look on things about singlehood.. but of course, i don’t want to end up alone as well.. at the end of the day.. i want to be with someone.. i want to grow old with someone.. and yes.. there’s one person meant for you.. just wait.. patience is a virtue.. :)
jeez!!! being single really is not the be all and end all in the world! im single, and i absolutely love it. yes, i do sometimes wish that i had someone, but like the previous person said, when you are single you get to do so much more things than as one half of a couple. when you’re single you can go out and meet new people all the time, and you do get to find out who you are as an individual as opposed to one half of a couple. i think that everyone should know who they are first and be independent before they get into a relationship and define themselves according to a relationship otherwise when that relationship fails then they are screwed to the max!!!
and yes, there is someone out there for everyone (who actually knows), but until then have fun and enjoy being by yourself instead of pining about it and feeling sorry for yourself.
Thanks for saying this important – but apparently rather unpopular – truth, Jason. At least it is a truth for some of us, and I can totally relate to it. Different people have different needs, and it singularly irritates me when some lesson-givers tell us that we ought to be different from what we are in this regard. Some people can make do with 5 hours of sleep per night; others need about 9. The person who tells them that they ought to make do with only 5 is a fool; and pointing to oneself and say “I can make do with 5 hours per night” is no argument. The same goes for romantic needs. Clearly there’s a pressure, in the society in which we live, to say about oneself “I’m single and perfectly happy as I am, it would be cool to find a partner but that would just be a bonus in my already freakin’ amazing life”. If you say anything else you’ll be perceived as a turnoff not merely by potential partners, but also by many people in your social circle. So you have to hide the truth. Being single sucks, and so does our society.
being single sucks especially when youve been in a relationshiop for like ever and now you have these kids and your all alone
hello Jason. You probably don’t check this thing anymore but I have to let you know this post helped me at a very difficult time.
First time I read this was last year..mid march I think, after a 3 year relationship had been terminated by him. I had lived with him, he was my first, my best friend, and then bam suddenly I was alone. I was miserable..and it’s true, when you’re alone everything does remind you of them and you listen to shitty music, get drunk constantly and the world DOESN’T stop. However, as time passed I realized that my constantly repeating “i can’t live without him” was contradicted by the fact that I was. And then I met a cool dude around May who I didn’t realize existed and sloooooooooooooooooooooooooowly learned to trust someone again..sort of. stilll working on it :)
anyway the point of this comment was to thank you for writing this. I somehow stumbled upon it via google once more and read from a new perspective because this time I don’t have a bleeding heart heh. It just reminded me of how much it helped me, a little bit, in a time where I had never felt more alone. I don’t think people ever truly recover from a break up, the naive person they were before who believed in everlasting love is slaughtered and you’re left with a more realistic version of yourself who, at times can be jaded, but still loves and hopes in a different way. I guess. Anyway, kudos to you and you should write more. You’re pretty good.
Haha, I really haven’t been here in awhile!
I’m glad that this was interesting to read in perspective. It’s interesting for me too. I’ve also come a ways since the time I wrote this, and I agree with what you’re saying: that time and heartbreak does make people more realistic and jaded, but still capable of love and hope.
I’ve also come to think that there will always be times where we’ll remember something that makes us smile or frown or flinch, just like there will be times when we can’t do anything else but forget about everything except the person in front of us. Life’s just weird, but interesting, that way.
Thank you, all, for the comments; this last one in particular reminded me that I /do/ have a blog, and since I’ve got something to get off my chest, I’ll be updating again soon. :)