I’m in a state of shock right now. So much shock that I’m abusing my work privileges and writing this instead of the article I’m supposed to.
I was just told that I have the skills to be an editor. By Karen Spears Zacharias: a successful writer and journalist.
That may not seem like a huge thing, but the way it was worded, that I have the “inborn organizational skill” that it would take, has left me speechless. I’m having trouble swallowing this.
She told me that I have the mind to do it, that I should consider journalism, that I could have the skills to be an editor someday. When she started saying all this, my jaw just started dropping. I’d expected to be chewed out (she had written on one of my papers that I had to see her) and instead I got complimented.
I think another thing that blows me away is that Ms. Zacharias talked to the head of the communications department here, who also agreed that I should be told. This doesn’t seem real.
I’m having a hard time with this for multiple reasons:
1. I don’t have the highest self-esteem.
2. The confidence I do have gets shot down pretty frequently.
The reason for the latter being that since I work at the Publicity Center, my drafts are constantly being sent back to me, and organizational issues are one of the problems. If I can’t write press releases without having organization problems, how can I believe that I can edit?
Don’t get me wrong – I’d love to do it. I love correcting grammar and reading other people’s works, offering criticism towards the improvement of a piece. I know that I’d probably find time to write (which is what I want to do) on the side, and that reading other people’s works would probably improve my writing.
But I’m having real trouble accepting this! I’m so afraid to ask someone else, like one of my bosses, to confirm this, because I’m afraid they’ll just shoot me down – and I really don’t want to fall. I’m in denial, but up here in cloud 9 is a nice place.
Ms. Zacharias also said I could talk to her if I wanted more advice on following through on this. I might have to take her up on that. If I’m going to accept this vision of me, I’m going to need more convincing.
