Recent observation: nobody likes wishy-washy people. It seems to me that it’s the people who are strong in their convictions or passionate about their interests that are well respected and liked, even if those ideals or hobbies are against popular opinion. Note that I’m not talking about extremists, but people who are reasonable and fully conscious of their actions.
I think the first time that I heard something to this effect was when one of my co-workers was talking about the Penny Arcade Expo and another told her that while she personally didn’t like video games, she thought it was cool that people could make it into such a big hobby. I’ve heard similar sentiments on subjects ranging from drugs to politics, and yet, I find it hard to act on.
In other words, while I wish everyone thought that way, and I’d like to behave as if everyone did, I know that it’s not the case. Behaving or speaking in a way that could bring negative attention isn’t socially smart, and while the only thing to fear in doing so may be fear itself, it’s still a pretty big dragon to slay. Especially when you see the people who do and get shot down for it. Seeing the socially inept excluded, and being there in the past, has made me more reserved about what I really think at first; it’s only after I’ve heard everything and feel like I’ve got everyone figured out, that I actually speak my mind.
Part of it is that I don’t like conflict. So much of it is meaningless to me – the way I see it, most issues don’t even matter in the long run. Even if there is a debate or argument between people, it usually only brings about flaring tempers, not a change of heart. Personally, if I can stay objective about something or take pride in it, then I don’t have a problem with speaking my mind or acting on my heart, but things of this nature are too far and few between.
The other part about it is just being honest. One of the most often asked, and yet rarely answered, questions is the infamous, “who do you like?” I don’t think I’ve met anyone who will come right out and say “oh so-and-so.” Why? Because people are cautious about who they let know them – the more someone knows you, the easier it is for them to hurt you. It just takes a certain kind of bravery (or insanity) to be honest.
That said, I really do envy the people who can speak their minds and hearts in a meaningful, reasonable way. Those are the people who are living their lives, making every day count. Maybe one day, more people will be respectful and open-minded. Maybe one day people won’t just use empty words like “tolerance,” then mock religion the next.
Charlie Brown does his best, but honestly, I like Linus more. I think he’s got it down, and if it takes me a security blanket to do that, I might have to go digging through the closet. http://www.snoopy.com/comics/peanuts/meet_the_gang/images/strips/f4d2.gif
I agree with you. I always find myself sitting back and watching as people get into really heated arguments over nothing. It’s an interesting phenomenon because ten minutes later what they were battling over hand over fist has been completely forgotten and now they’re onto the next thing. And it happens on a bigger scale too, just look at the media. Wouldn’t it be interesting if for one day, people were forced to be honest. What would the world find out about itself, and what would really matter?